What If You’re Already There?

I spent a lot of my life thinking that what I was looking for was somewhere out there ahead of me.

It makes perfect sense; we live in a world that is constantly stimulating us and subtly reinforcing the idea that happiness and fulfilment are just around the corner.

There’s always something else to chase.

More money. More success. More attention. More validation. A better body. A better relationship. The next holiday. The next purchase. The next milestone that we’ve convinced ourselves will finally make us feel like we’ve arrived.

Now I’m not suggesting these things are inherently bad.

I’m ambitious myself; I want to grow as a person, have cool experiences, build projects, travel to new places, have a beautiful relationship, earn decent money and ultimately live a life that feels meaningful.

But, I’m also increasingly aware of the illusion: the false idea that the next external thing can permanently change how I feel internally. Because it can’t.

You achieve what you wanted, feel good for a while and then that familiar sense of discontentment starts to creep back in.

But, often, rather than sit with this feeling and get curious as to what lies beneath it, our attention shifts to the next thing.

I’ve been there. I’ve lived this.

I’ve chased bigger muscles, female attention, career success.

And while each of those things gave me something momentarily, none of them ever really filled my cup in the way I thought they would.

The feeling was always temporary.

What I’ve learned is that the way to break the cycle is to slow down. To actually get quiet enough internally to notice what you’re feeling and what you truly want. 

Because for as long as we’re listening to the outside noise more than our own internal desires, we’re likely to continually chase what the world tells us we should want.

This is where breathwork can play a massive role.

It creates an opportunity to stop ‘doing’ for a moment and to simply ‘be’. 

There’s nowhere else to get to and nothing to prove or achieve. It’s simply a matter of paying attention to your breath and to what’s happening inside you.

When you spend enough time doing this you start to become still internally. And it’s from this place of stillness that you can begin to question what it is that you’re actually chasing in the first place.

I feel like a lot of our external striving is really just an attempt to arrive at an internal state.

Making money can be about feeling safe. Getting validation can represent a desire to feel wanted. A relationship can represent a longing for connection. And achieving external ‘success’ can simply be about wanting to feel like you’re finally enough. 

It doesn’t really matter whether it’s money, appearance, a relationship, garnering status, or anything else.

Beneath all of it, all we’re actually looking for is the feeling that the thing brings.

Things like peace, freedom, connection, love.

Now I don’t think this means we need to stop wanting things.

I certainly haven’t.

But, I’m becoming more and more aware of the difference between pursuing something because I genuinely want it versus pursuing it because I think I need it in order to finally feel okay or enough. 

One’s fulfilling, one’s exhausting. 

Breathwork hasn’t given me all the answers and nor can it. But, what it has given me is more moments where I’m quiet enough to ask the right questions.

And typically, in those moments, I’m reminded that what I’m seeking isn’t actually out there, somewhere in the future.

It’s available right here, right now.